my poem of a life
by aka the girl crying inside
Summary: Her heart sinks like the titanic it was over , he broke her ,her potential happiness was so close and now? its swamped at the bottom of the ocean of beck .
1. Chapter 1

**My poem of a life ... **

**_a/n hey! so if you know my story's you know that i write a lot of poems and i love them so this is a story but its writing like a poem okay? lol um if your new to my story's check my other ones out i think you'll like them love you guys!  
_**

**_ ~ Aka the girl crying inside  
_**

**__**_JADES P.O.V  
_

_I wanna sleep away all my problems  
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_all this bullshit  
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_just everything  
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_where i can control  
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_there be no pain  
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_no sadness  
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_no depressing thoughts_

_no tears  
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_no heartache  
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_just happiness  
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_ill be on cloud 9 forever  
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_and never come down  
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_like i did today...  
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_i counted to 10  
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_behind a door  
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_and with every second  
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_i counted  
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_my heart broke  
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_especially at 10  
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_a million tears came  
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_i couldn't breath  
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_but i wouldn't break down in front of Vegas house  
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_so i walked home  
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_that's 5 miles  
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_ugh but in my world  
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_ill be forever smiling  
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_instead of forever sad  
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_my heart wouldn't hurt  
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_from memories and people  
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_wouldn't hurt me  
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_time and time again  
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_i wouldn't be so stupid!  
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_i just be me...  
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_the me i show people  
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_not my cover  
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_and people wouldn't care  
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_or say anything  
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_there be just music , dancing and just  
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_people who i know  
, love and trust  
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_who wont hurt me EVER  
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_but that will never happen  
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_im stuck in a world  
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_where people hurt me everyday  
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_there's people who are happy and not depressed like stupid Vega  
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_there's people who belong like beck the one who broke my heart _

_there's people who sink away from people and hide like Robbie and his stupid puppet Rex  
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_there's people who are bubbly and annoying but are great friends like cat  
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_there's people who have real talent like Andre  
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_Then theirs me jade west _

_who feel empty inside _

_and are really not happy_

_ and just wanna die ...  
_


	2. holding so much in

**_Hey its me again so since i write a lot poems im putting them here to get it out and so ans so _**

**_so that means i will be updating this a lot hopefully still check out my other story's love you guys!  
_**

**_~aka the girl crying inside  
_**

**_JADE'S P.O.V_**

**__**_im holding in my tears _

_but i rather have them  
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_slip down my cheeks  
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_feeling in the cracks  
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_where im so broken  
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_i dropped the glass  
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_and there used to be someone to fix it  
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_but he's long gone  
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_so here iam again  
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_crying , broken and  
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_alone as alwasy  
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_i hate my thoughts  
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_i hate you  
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_i hate my heart  
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_i hate my actions  
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_and i hate myself ...  
_


	3. drama and the people i hate

**_hey its me again lol i know a new story and three chapters already? i know! that's good for me its just i have poems or sayings in my iPod phone etc so im getting the new ones out hope you like also check out my other story's :) enjoy love you guys!_**

**_~ aka the girl crying inside  
_**

**__**_Drama drama drama  
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_i wish it all just go away  
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_my lifes bad enough  
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_without you making it worse  
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_but its like you live to make me not want to live  
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_beck i hate you not just because you broke up with me because i gave you everything you were my best friend you knew what was happening but you left me  
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_dad i hate your fucking guts every since mom left you abused me mental and physically everyday  
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_mom im not sure if i hate you you left me here with this monster and it got worse how could you leave me here with this bastard? you were supposed to protect me from the monsters but where are you?  
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_tori fucking Vega i don't hate you i envy you because your perfect everything i wish i could be and more  
_


	4. what i really felt about the break up

_**im back no use for a/n anymore right? anyway check out my story's and i love you guys! **_

_**~ aka the girl crying inside  
**_

_**What 8i felt after the big break up 2 months ago...  
**_

_****My heart sinks like the titanic its over?  
_

_my potential happiness has crashed and burned like the rest of my life  
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_but i was so close and now? its swamped at the bottom of becks broken hearts ocean  
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_but i still searched for a rock that had to be left unturned because you stopped loving me i doesn't me because i haven't  
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_i need something to happen please  
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_i started counting ...  
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_**1 . please be walking to the door **  
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_**2. tell them your not gonna give up on me  
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_**3. think of how you love me  
**_

_**4. think of the 3 years  
**_

_**5. think of us being best friends as kids  
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_**6. think of me showing you the real me..  
**_

_** are you?  
**_

_**8. beck please i didn't mean it  
**_

_**9. do you still love me?  
**_

_**10. its over for good?  
**_

_** hey a/n the sayings next to the numbers mean what the real jade would say not the one who acts tough   
**_


	5. lying in my heart break shaped bed

**hey again lol chapter number 5 in a day :) come on guys i know people are reading review! thanks check out my storys love you guys! **

** ~aka the girl crying inside  
**

_today beck tried to kiss tori 2 weeks after our breakup and tori moved and said i was her friend? maybe Vega really isn't that bad... _**  
**

_but beck ..  
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_do you lie in your bed at night  
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_and plan how you'll build be up and tear me down  
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_the next day?!  
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_huh do you because that's what you do!  
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_toke my heart and claimed it  
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_them ripped it out leaving scars just like my father ..  
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_but you left me hear to die  
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_heart break is the worst pain ever  
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_more then me cutting myself  
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_more then my dads daily beatings baby? why  
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	6. living in my own hell

_**Hey im back and this is it for today but i need you guys top reveiw please? check out my other storys love you guys! **_

_**~ aka the girl crying inside  
**_

_****i want something  
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_im not sure what it is  
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_but i want it so bad  
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_i don't think i ask for much really  
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_my hearts heavy  
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_my eyes Cary a million tears  
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_but for what?_

_a life that none cares about?  
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_because i felt so comfortable to tell you everything  
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_about my horrible life?  
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_my thoughts  
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_my feelings?  
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_okay ..  
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_don't care but imma shut down  
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_no more emotion  
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_im just gonna live  
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_in silence  
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_ill have my thoughts  
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_and hopefully if god loves me enough he'll kill me ..  
_


End file.
